Our Very Own
Strangers In The Night
Album

working title
'Rangers in the Shite'

Well what can I say?

This album is to Rock'n'Roll what gaffer tape is to World War 3 - no damn use whatsoever, but we had fun talking about it.

Here is the story of how it all came about....

So many of you started sending photos to SITN of yourselves posing poutingly in front of your stacks, that it seemed only fair to give you all the chance to do your party-piece. Trouble was, as with anything which requires any of you to actually DO anything, I had to resort to whipping and physical abuse to get anything done. Anyway, after I'd let you all finish whipping and abusing me, the album finally started to take shape.

One by one the tracks landed through my letter-box, and this was when I began to realise just how corrupt our Postal Service is. Virtually every single package had been opened en route, and all the Ferrero Rochers had been stolen. Can you believe that!

Anyway, we decided to make it a communal effort so that those of you who couldn't come up with a decent choon to save your life (that's most of you) could contribute in other ways - by designing the artwork, by printing the sleevenotes, by sticking the labels on, by suggesting a title, or by making the tea.

An album such as this deserves the very best presentation that money can buy - nothing but the best for my boyyyyyys.
With this is mind I hoiked all round the internet trying to find the most exclusive materials to complete the package.

The disc itself is manufactured from a special sound-enhancing kind of platinum which is only found in radioactive platinum mines deep within the ocean-bed of the mid-Pacific. These mines can only be reached by divers wearing reflective asbestos bikinis. This naturally disturbs the fish, so excavations can only be carried out between the hours of midnight and 3:00am. It cuts into my sleep time, but the up-side is that it led to an offer for me to play the lurve-interest in the next Bond movie - tentatively titled 'Octobatttttty'. Blimey, the trouble I go to for you lot.....

The paper for the liner-notes was originally planned to be made from the freshly-moulted feathers of baby swans, re-inforced with silk from the larvae of the Mongolian gossamer-worm which only breeds once every eighteen years and doesn't like being looked at. Unfortunately for SITN members, this meant the album release would have needed to be delayed for another 17 years (I toldddd ya we should have done it last year!), so a high-level executive decision was taken to have another cup of tea and go for Plan B.

Plan B involved printing the sleevenotes on paper made from the ground-down and recycled underpants of grizzled old rockstars. But there was no way I was gonna let anyone break up my collection of these - festooned loosely over the giant crystal chandeliers in the locked room that I keep as a shrine to my vaguely-remembered-but oft-revisited 70s lifestyle.

So... on to Plan C - and another cup of tea. By this time I was gettin fed up of the whole damn thing, so I decided you're just gonna have it done in crayon by Dairve on screwed up pages that he's ripped out of his jotter when he's doing hard sums and his workings-out don't work out. Luckily there is a plentiful supply of these so it's unlikely we'll run out.

OK now on to the tracks themselves. Let's just say that Elton John might have to watch his back. I mean he might find that his record as highest-grossing-(grossest?)-music-maker-on-the-planet-ever-ever-ever is probably about to be challenged. Michael Jackson had better watch out too. Before long I expect to see our boyyyyys being followed round Woolworths by a documentary camera-crew... 'I want that, and that, and one of those, and that, and three of those, oh and one of those for the monkey, blardyblardyblar'

I will be putting up a page with info about everyone's track which will kind of explain why they bothered. And as soon as all the technobollux has been attended to, I will be uploading soundclips. But you're gonna buy it anyway, with or without soundclips - so next on the agenda is to get the Order Page up and running. Won't be long!