Like every other UFO fan, when I heard that Michael Schenker's #1 Flying V was up for auction on Ebay, I was horrified, stunned, shattered and numb. This wasn't just a guitar - it was the pen that wrote the diary of my life - or at least drew the doodles on the corners of the pages.

My main concern (apart from concern for Michael) was that this precious artefact must NOT go to someone who wouldn't value it for what it was. It must not end up in a bank vault, gathering dust and losing interest, until the day when Mr. Schenker goes sky-gigging - and then be offered for sale by some greedy, nasty, selfish little man who could never have - or get - too much

So I was delighted (but admittedly sceptical) to get an email from a fella called Martin who claimed that he had bought this bijou pleasurette and was awaiting delivery. He seemed ordinary enough... so I got the FBI, Interpol and the CIA to check him out, and when I was sure that he was everything he said he was, I invited him to become the next Mr. Bat.
But in the meantime, here's a little chat I had with the old banjo-buyer .....

First of all, Martin.... some general getting-to-know-you stuff ..... How long have you been a Schenker/UFO fan? Approximately 20 to 25 years

Is that mainly UFO or MSG ? MSG but about 60-40% I guess

How long have you been loaded? Hahaha loaded rich or loaded pissed? ......erm 'always' and 'always' for both

What was the first UFO gig you ever saw? TWTWATI '80/'81 at Hammersmith Odeon

And what was the best UFO gig you ever saw? TWTWATI '80/80 But..... that wasn't Schenker...!!! Hmmm, ok, we'll come back to that later....

Are you very satisfied, quite satisfied, neither satisfied or dissatisfied, quite unsatisfied or very unsatisfied with Batttttty as your Supreme Power and Ruler of the SITN chatgroup and website? Very satisfied of course

How did you immediately feel when you saw the #1V come up for sale on Ebay? Shocked and surprised. How did you first hear about that? I first saw the advert from Dave's site. Did you get a gut feeling where you just *knew* you were gonna have it. Yes I was talking about buying a V not long before this came up (spooky eh).

Were you tempted to bid for #3 too - greedy *%$^*& ? I was talking to Andy about buying both V's but the wife threatened divorce

How did you feel when Andy said 'it's all yours'? I thought 'I'll believe it when I see it'. (Just a business feeling, not personal. Andy and his partner Jeanerette at ANDY BRAUER STUDIO RENTALS are wonderful people)

How did your family feel about you remortgaging the house and moving into a dog-kennel? Hehehe .... Nicki was very understanding she said 'If you want it buy it!' .... what a woman

How did you feel when you first held it, and knew it belonged to you? I first thought 'Jesus this is light' Does it feel like it 'belongs' to you? Or do you belong to it? Or is it just a 'custodianship' kinda thing? I feel a bit guilty about owning it. Michael should be playing it!! So I feel I'm just keeping it warm. I have asked Andy to pass the message onto Michael, it's his if he wants to buy it back. Thanks, Martin - we in SITN salute you for that!

Other than UFO and MSG, who else are you into? I know you're a fan of Emerson Lake and Palmer from this photo of you here with Carl at a book-signing. I like David Coverdale, Bon Jovi, Brian Adams - tons and tons of stuff

And you're also involved with tigers, apparently.... What's all that abaaaaahhhhhhht? I sponsor tigers in Thailand and Cambodia, I just love them They need looking after well. OK, well in our next chat, I want to know more about all that, ok - I don't want to keep you here much longer cos I know you wanna get on and play with your new toy! But I'm not ready to untie you yet, so ... a few more questions please..yeh?

Certainly oh great Supreme Power and Ruler and Lustrous Potentate. Carry on! I'm having a great time! I really am just as happy talking to you here as I would be if I was onstage playing this thanggggg.

Of course you are! Has having the internet made you look deeper into UFO's history etc., and have you learnt things you didn't know about them? Sure, I've learnt things about all kinds of weird shit as well Yeh....Would you have known about the sale if you hadn't had the internet? Probably not. See! I keep telling people that the internet is a GOOD thing!

Hmmm... What do you plan to do with your new black and white pussycat, other than just sit and stroke it, and tweak its ears (and make sure its neck doesn't get broken again)? Its gonna have a lovely home until I get that phone call to send it home to daddy

If Michael were ever to tour again, and he was playing a venue near you, would you take it to show him? Invite him to stay at your place, sleep on the couch, etc? I would certainly find out if Michael wanted to see it again, and if he wanted to play it I would certainly take it along. Not sure about the couch thing tho

Difficult question for me to put into words, cos it all depends on your interpretation of it, and the value of money to you, but ... 'now you've got it, does it feel worth what you paid for it?' Strange, I don't look at the guitar and think that's worth $20,000. I feel very lucky to own it .... I'm not worthy ................

What nights will you be out of the house, and do you leave a key anywhere for emergencies? (Only jokin, but you ARE taking precautions, aint ya...). The guitar will be insured, not sure how it would be replaced tho. If somebody is gonna try to nick this off me they better be prepared to die for it

When you watch UFO, does it make you go all mbnmbnbmnbmbnbmbmmmbnbbmbmbnmmmm? Yeh.

Yeh...me too. I just need that feeling more often. Yeh.... Yeh.... Yeh................................. Yeh..........................................

OK, swiftly on ...Michael has recently gone down the weird-body-markings route. Do you have any strange tattoos yourself? Nope!

What do you think of today's 'young' music scene? Who is there? I mean, who IS there? Who bloody is there? Will Young? Atomic Kitten? Blimey. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz no characters, no real skill about. I love live music and real musicians.

Well Martin, I will definitely ask you all about your musical inspirations in our next chat, and also touch on the old amps'n'valves mullarkey, cos I know there are a lot of people reading this who couldn't give a flying £%&$ about tattoos and stuff like that, and are really only interested in knobs and bridges and wah-wah pedals and all that. So for them, I will say STAY TUNED for more, and I'm gonna let Martin go now, cos I recognise that 'red-eyed, open-mouthed, hand-disappearing behind the guitar' syndrome, and I'm gonna let him go and get on with it.

Thanks, Martin, it's been a real pleasure, and I must say - it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

(Sorry about all those smiley faces, but this bloke never seems to stop smiling, for some reason)

Click on the two photos of Martin holding his new baby to get to bigger pics, and then, even BIGGER pics!

STOP PRESS - PART TWO OF MY CHAT WITH MARTIN IS HERE